Sry I called you an 8
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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