Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
