At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
