he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
