i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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