love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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