That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
