I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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