Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
