your room smells of hookers.
And success
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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