i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
