You can't motorboat a personality
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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