At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
