And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
