it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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