This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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