And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize