perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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