pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
