when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
