I've blown a few things in my day
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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