Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is classic penis vs brain.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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