There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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