There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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