I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
