True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
