Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
