The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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