That's when you crack a 10am beer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
