and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
