just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
