I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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