I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
