Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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