Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
