someone get that fucking seahorse.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
