Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
