its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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