It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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