IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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