Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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