I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize