i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
