end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
