Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My hand turned me down
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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