Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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