my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
