You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
