Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
