clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
