Your dad touched me again.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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