May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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