what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
