we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
