Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
