Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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