i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
