does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
