I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
