Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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