I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so let's talk penis.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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